Just read #2:

Hey last time I did one of this, it was to make you readers feel better. But today I'm not in the mood for that shining touch, so I'm just going to look for some phrases and put them here. Oh! And I'm going to try to look for a positive or at least something nice in every sentence, but not in all of them.

I'm a strong girl who keeps her stuff in line even when I have tears going down my face, I always manage to say those two word...

                                                                        -I'm Fine-

 

I'm not sad. I'm past pain. I don't feel depressed anymore. In fact, I'm having trouble feeling anything at all anymore.

 

Secret: #77 - I want to get away from here.

 

 

 I don't know, has been my answer for everything lately. I don't know what's wrong.

 

 

Tears are word that the heart can't say.

 

 

At some point along the road I realized "I'm Sorry" just wasn't good enough it doesn't take the pain away.

 

You are beautiful!

 

Please save me from my self.

 

 

I don't want to feel anything anymore. It's running everything for me.

 

 People cry not because there weak. It's because they have been strong for to long.

 

 

I've lost control AGAIN.  

 

Lies:

 I'm crying in my room, all by my self, I never thought that my life could be so good. But if it's so good, why am I crying? And then I remember that my life is so good because is based on lie. I lie about what I feel, about what I think, and about what I want.

When you cry is because your sad, when I cry most of the time is just a show. The only person that can actually see through my act, is me. I have prove, that even if you know the person, or the person knows you or so they say, you really don't know them. I don't know what I'm feeling sometimes, is hard to describe it, and since I was little I learned that lying is better, you hide everything and you keep your secrets to your self. Now...I don't know why do I lie anymore, before it was because I was sacred of the truth, now I don't. Am I still scared of the truth? I can't be, I already face the truth. I just lie because is easier than telling the truth, even when I know I'm wrong, even when I know it will heart me more than is going to hurt you, because I know the lie, and the truth.  

12:00am?

Where I'm from is 12:00am right now. Normally people will say is morning, because is 12:00am but why do we say good night even when we have to say good morning. Is funny how simple things get us confuse or we barely notice them. But  just wanted to pass by and say Good Night, and Good Morning

Human Kind:

 Hey I was watching something and then I saw a really nice and realistic phrase, and I started thinking of it, so I decided to put the phrase here in my blog. Is not mine but is really good, is from a series "Full Metal Alchemist"

 

 

"Human kind can not gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemist first rule of equivalent exchange.

In those days we truly believe that's to be the one, and only truth."

 

 

   

In Space, in Earth or in your Mind?

 

 

            Looking into space is just a way to say I'm open minded, and I look in to the past, present and future. I look in the memories either good or bad. (at least my opinion).

 

When you go in that far trip in your mind is kind of  funny sometimes, depending on the place or the thing your thinking of. When you stare at nothing, but at the same time at something. You lose your self in your thoughts. Sometimes, I go far back in my mind when I don't have anything to do and think what would I have done back there if I had the knowledge, that I have now. Would I said something or would I just let things happen again? If someone gave me that option I'll leave everything as it was, just because of the fact that without the past, the memories, the good and the bad things, we wouldn't be who we are today. And if somebody gave you the chance to go to the future and not the past would you go or would you just let time show you what is going to be the future? If it depended on me I wouldn't go, because even if the future is made already it could change as fast as it was made, your decisions make your future, bad decision or a good one could change your future and then who would know.  

 

 

It just came to mind, it hasn't happen to you, you look at someone, and that person is looking into space? Is kind of interesting to look at the person so lost in thoughts. The face that they make is not a happy face, but not a sad face, is a face that not even trying you can make, is just a unique facial expression and the eyes of the person are so beautiful sometimes you just have too look at them. And if the person your look at it's the person you like, or a friend, or a maybe someone you care about, you look in to his/her eyes and think "What could he/she be thinking?" and you stare a them without a reason. Then when the person comes back to earth, and you are just looking at them. But your looking at them and at the same time looking in to space. Then you come back, and you both look in to each others eyes, if it's a friend you maybe would laugh, if it's someone you care about you probably just smile, but if it's the person you like, >\\\<  (blushing) you would look in to his/her eyes and be all movie type, until one of you looks the other way. But even if it's just second, you enjoy those seconds, because if it's someone you care about, (and that includes friend, family, or the person you like) that moment is beautiful. Looking in to each others eyes, after looking in to space is like exchanging, an honest piece of your sole, or maybe not a piece of sole, but before you react that your back on earth, you look at everything and everybody the same way, a real and honest look.

 

P.S - Sometimes I think is like dreaming but with the eyes open, and I loved the idea of making your stories in your that everything can happen.

 

 

 

Song that I think is good or (SITIG): Keep your mind wide open by Anna Sophia Robb.

Starts: Have you ever seen the sky. So beautiful, colorful, wide wonderful?... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just read...!📖

If you feel no one cares just read. I hope this little sentences will make you feel better.



"Do you ever wonder how many people notice you? but you don't notice them, because you are to busy noticing someone else that will never notice you?"


"I'm not perfect. I'll annoy you, tease you, say stupid things, but you'll never find anyone who loves you as much as I do"


"I've made mistakes in my life. I 've let people take advantage of me, and I accepted way less than I deserve. But I've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry. I'll know better next time and I won't settle for anything less than I deserve."


"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."


"If the story is not about the hearer he will not listen. And here I make a rule a great and interesting story is about everyone or it will not last."


"Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with other without using them as a means of escape."


"I just want to have fun and be in love with you."

 

Happy Valentines Day ✌️

Today is Valentines day, I hope all of you are having a good time, with your partners, and that your relationship is going well. For all of you out there that are single (like me), go to a party have fun valentines day might be for love, but is for Frienship too,grab a few friends and go out. 

 I don't have much experience in love, but I have much in been alone in valentines day, and I always have fun whether is going to the movies and bother other couples or just hangout with friends. Make the best of it, you only have one Valentines day 2015, and make memories that last. 

And like a song said: “All I want is to mess around and I don't care if you love me or hate me.” 

I don't know...

I don't understand this world. I don't understand society. What they want from us? I don't know what to do anymore. They say follow your dream, but they fight with you for your dream. They say, is for your own good. Are you sure is it for my own good? Maybe we are wrong, maybe we should change. I have tried, but I can't. How can you change something, that it can't be changed. You can't change who you are.

If you smile all the time, they will believe your fine. But do they know? The real you, the one that is hiding behind the mask. Would they know her someday, or will you keep hiding the girl behind all of those lies. Are you the flower that you said you where, that is made from the things she learn or maybe you're still the rose, with red coat hiding, because you have many thorns, and is afraid that no one would take her just because of the thorns. Hiding behind the mask won't work for long, someone will see right through, but you can't wait for that day to come. All I want is to be more like me, and less like you.


 We humans, are perfect the way we are, then why do we want to change. Why do we try to impress others with out fake and worthless lies. Change the color of your hair, if you want, not because is popular. Makeover, is made for you to feel and look they way you look inside, but we use it to make our self's looks different. Make yourself feel good, be yourself, and give your opinion. Is your life, not anyone else's life.

BE YOURSELF...why? That's the question, but the only one that knows the answer is you. The past is only to remember and learn,. The future is waiting for you, and it will be better, if you want it to be better.

Just Try:

Don't you sometime wonder what is out there, outside of this walls. The walls that you made, just to protect yourself from anyone. Do you give your self a chance in life or you just use your mask and cover while you just here and see, but don't feel?...

CLASSROOM:

In the classroom, I'm sitting in my chair, listening to the class, go on and on. My classmates come and go, and me, not even moving, I just knew that my mind wasn't there. A friend of mine comes and starts talking to me, and I looked at his eyes and think "Am I saying this things because I want to or is because I'm suppose to" then I smile. I missed that place where I knew I was save, where my opinions where listen. The world that I own, but I can't go back, I can barely see it. Some people say that you dream when your a kid, and when you grow up those dreams become little, they turn in goals. If growing up means I have to leave that world behind, I don't want to grow up ever. I just my world to be fix but how. Maybe it has a problem, I could fix it. Next time I can, I'll go back and look for the problem, so I can fix it. I won't let my world die, not because of me, I'll do something, even if my life depends on it.

HEYYYYYY!!!!!!!, ARE YOU THERE???!!!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO WHAT I'M SAYING????!! I react, someone was screaming at me, it was the teacher. I guess I did when in a little road around my head. I need to get there, to forget, to remember, future and past. I need to escape from here, be my self, stop this lies. I get mad, because I'm drowning in my own glass of water, that is not even full. Where is that girl that I knew, she was active, always smiling, happy al the time, she never felt anger at someone, she was me, but 10 years ago. I really miss her and her thoughts. I need to find her right away. If I don't, I'm afraid that my world will die and sooner I'll be like them, I don't want to be like them, I want to be me again. I going to do something about me and my world.











  

Does Your Own World Exist?

I see her on her chair, but her mind...is way far from here. She always talks about a wonderful place where she loves to be. Where the wind is always flowing, the grass is green like if always was summer, the bugs don't bite, and the sun is always there until the night.

I wish, I could go to that place, and smile for a while, so I don't need to think or do what people want me to. When she comes back to earth, her smile is bigger and she is positive , but her grades not that much. She could be the happiest person in the world but her grade's are going down.

 FEW DAYS LATER....

This last days, her smile is not that big. She doesn't go to that place anymore, and her grade are the same. What's going on in her head? Is her imagination crumbling down? She is quiet most time, because she is in that little world of hers. I wish, I could help her but I got my own problem, my little world is dying. The grass is red, as if there had been a battle there. You don't need to know...at least not yet, let's just say is not pretty, is not what I wish for me in my own little world. 

Let's see...

I hope you like my little stories, The Nightmares,. I'll be posting some short stories from my own book, but not all of them will have a second part.

The Real Fourth Story: The day I really knew

 I'm in my bed, lights out, I stop to light them, thinking it may be a joke from my cousins. I try to light them, I couldn't. Okay, I started to get scared, and I thought of a possible reason why could, the light run out, the first thing that came to mind was "The power went out, that's normal", but the thing was, it wasn't raining. So why? I started looking for my lamp to go see if my mom was fine, but I didn't find anything. I open the door, to go to my moms room, everything was in order, except that my mom was not in her bed, but her lamp was in her room, I took the lamp and went downstairs, but suddenly the funniest thing happens, the light came back. I go to my room to see if I can go back to sleep, but my door is locked .I decided to go down to the kitchen to see if my mom was there, but she was not, so I found it average. Since I was awake I sat down to wait for my mom and watch TV. Sitting relaxed, calm, waiting for my mom, someone knocks on the door, I stand to go to open the door, when I stand, I hear a noise coming from the kitchen, looked quickly toward the kitchen. I could not believe, Riu was in the kitchen, says "We need to talk". We sat in the room to talk. Actually it looked like we had talked for hours. We talked about who was and where he came from.

Riu stands up and goes, and says "Until we meet again" and closes the door after him, you could see his red eyes through the window, moving away slowly. Then a small, adorable black cat peeks behind furniture. The small kitten is approaching me, but as it approaches, the color of his hair changes from black to white, and his eyes, from blue to gray. The cat stops in front of me, and tells me "awake, escapes now you can!" It left me speechless, a cat. I was talking to a cat, obviously it wasn't the weirdest thing yet, after having met Riu it wasn't much left that surprised me. The moment that I was going to answer the cat, someone knocks on my door. I go to the door, opened it, he was there, standing in the doorway, not talking, I told him to come and sit.

 He just looked at me. The little cat surprised, asked me "Who is he?", I answered "I know his name, but I don't know his soul", after about 3 minutes, he stands up and walks toward the door. I tell him to stop, to stay longer. He stops and looks at me. The kitty asks me "Why do you want him to stay, isn't painful for you?". I answer, "yes, but this has been the only time I could really look into his eyes and feel like he is here". The kitten ask "But you see him everyday at school don't you?" I said "Yes, but that doesn't mean I see him, does it" she replied "You can try to connect with his soul, and his heart" I kneeled down to be closer to the little kitten, and said "I tried, but his heart and soul belong to someone else," she smiles at me and asks me "Well are you going to back down on him?" I look in to her beautiful gray eyes and said  "No, I'll be there by his side, as a friend as family, I'll be there, by their side, no matter, enemy or friend". The kitten was fading but before vanishing she said "Then why do you say that, with a tear falling out of your eye" I didn't even notice I was crying. She takes the tear from my eye with her tail, and I said, "I wasn't crying for him, you never cries over the situation in which one is, but one before that in which you couldn't mourn." Her smile answer, because her face wa already vanished "Good, because you shouldn't cry for someone like him, and now you know what you have to do" I nodded. I went to the door where he was. I hug him and he hug me back. I looked in to his eyes and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, he was smiling, because of me. At the end he left, with a fake smile, that I could see through it, but I didn't care, at least he smile at me and just me. I returned to the couch and I slept, I close my eyes, knowing this was the last time, i was going to be there.


My mom wakes me up, it felt like 5 minutes, but it was already morning, it was a Saturday for my luck, she send me back up stairs. I smile at her, and I went to bed. That's how my story ends, but who knows maybe Riu will go to you next, he wasn't my nightmare after all.

The Third Nightmare

I wake up in a room, everything is dark, I looked everywhere for a light, what I see is a window into the distance, I run, but before reaching the window, the floor disappears, the only thing you can se is the infinite darkness. The soil begins to disappear behind me. With no place to go, I just wait until the last tile disappeared beneath me, but in spite of that there was no ground, and I hung in the air.

Something began to grab me by the hands and feet, it tied me to a machine. The machine, started to get up in the air, and it started to pull my arms and legs. After a while the machine stretches me more and more, until my limbs were torn from my body. I yell as hard as I could, I thought I was going to en up voiceless, and I started to mourn, and then I fainted. Upon awakening, I had my arms and legs again, but when I tried to move could not, I was tied to a table and Riu was at my side. He had a apron like doctor and tools for surgery. Riu looked at me and said "Ready, it will only hurt a little." Riu grabbed a knife from the table, and one began to open up, I thought this is my end, I thought I was going to die, because of so much pain I felt. But at that moment to look at Riu eyes woke me, I my room like nothing had happen. My mom comes in and ask me "Are you okay?, I heard you screaming." I looked at her, and say "No, I'm fine just a bad dream"

The Second Nightmare

I lay in bed and closed my eyes. Little did I know that was going to appear once more in my dream and make it a nightmare. But he make a deal with me. He told me that I had to do whatever he said. I accepted and followed him to a huge room with a bunch of poisonous weapons drinks, etc..

Riu gave me a kind of drink, green and said "The first thing you have to do is give the drink to the person who is behind that door," and pointed to a door with the letter M on it. I opened the door a bright light prevented me see, and when the light down a bit, I realized that what had, the drink in my hand, had become a sweet, and I must admit it looked delicious. When as I could see, the first thing I saw was a table in the center of the room, and Malory sitting in the corner. I gave her the sweet Riu had given me. Malory ate the sweet and the moment she ate it, she got all red and then white foam started to get out of her mouth. I was scared and I ran to the door, when I got through, I closed the door as fast as I could. Riu looked at me and smiled. I panicked because I had killed one of my friends. He told me "There are more". Pointed to other gates and doors that had letters. As if they were hospital doors, but had letter instead of numbers. The door which I had left behind had an M, and that M was now red. The other doors had the letters H, A, P, A, G, V and J. Took me outside the door H and gave me an ax, and told me to enter. I knew it was a nightmare, so I said to my self "You're not killing anyone, it's just a nightmare, you will enter those doors and you'll leave with a smile, no matter who is behind them."

 I opened the door that has the letter H, I saw Hiva. She came closer to me, and stopped in front of me, I look at her eyes and they don't have a reaction, a reflex, she wasn't Hiva, she wasn't my friend. I looked at her in the eyes so I did what I had to do, and cut off her head. I did the same with the other but different things. The door that had the letter A it was Angels door and I cut her leg and let her bleed to death, the next door was the door P that one was Pao's door I pull an arrow to your heart. When I get to a door that had the same letter, A I said "it can not be an angel again, then who?" I open the door and it was Alex, I cut Alex's harms, and did the same that I did to Angel, let her bleed, but I could bare look, so before they die, I already was out the door. I knew they weren't my friends but they looked a lot like them. After that I went to the door with the letter G, in there, was  y friend Gab I poison him like I did with Malory. "Just two more doors to go" I said to my self. I enter to the door that had the V on it, that was the door that my friend Victor was in, I exploded him with a bomb. "At least the last door!" I scream. it felt like I have been in this dream more than just a few minutes, I just wanted to be over already. The last door, was the door that had the letter J on it. When I open the door before seeing the person, I told myself  " I don't want to kill anybody else" , and I turned around to look at the person, and I see Joe, in that moment, I looked at him I thought another of Riu's puppets, but I get closer to him and I look in to his eyes, and saw him, my friend and I ask him "Are you real? Are you the real Joe that I know?". I couldn't speak after what he said .He told me "Yes, I'm the real Joe" and I couldn't speak not because he said yes but because he said something, non of the others had even said a word to me or scream or any reaction at all, but him, he smile and everything. Riu came into the room and stand beside Joe. Riu give me a gun and said "You know what to do right?" I looked at Joe and I looked at Riu and I knew what I didn't do before it was my chance to make it right. I loaded the gun, and points to the head, and I shoot. I run to the door with Joe, thinking that Riu as dead. after we past the door Riu was in front of us, he smile and said "Well done, I have to go and I guess you too"

 I looked to my side and Joe was still there, but I looked in to his eyes and saw that it wasn't Joe any more, it was the puppet again, I try to talk to him but nothing he just standing there...I wake up with a tear falling out of my eye and I didn't really care, because I learned something, you can actually see someone's soul with just looking in to his eyes.

  

The Fist Nightmare: part 2

And then the first road appeared, and these still appear consecutively. The first road was black and a light illumined, in this way were two people, two friends, Hiva and Pao. The second one was red and  two good friends of mine, Joe and Victor were there. In the second last but not least, a path with two beginnings but came together at one point. The third road was, yellow, and there was my family. In an entry of the way my family was all by my mother's side, while the other input was my family but my dad's side. The last was a road with a sign that said "By Yourself".


Riu said "choose one." I didn't knew for what it was, so I choose Hiva and Pao, Riu said "Wrong Way, The friends do not last nothing but a summer breeze". I didn't what to think in what he just said. I went by the way of Joe and Victor, Riu said "Wrong Way, friends are just a weight in my pocket".I already was getting angry and did not give him time to talk, with just one way left, that said "By yourself". I run into this road and at the moment I put my foot, I could not move but I managed to look back and what I saw was Riu smile at me and said "close your eyes", I closed them trusting him, opening my eyes I found my self in my classroom and Riu next to me ,and says "When you are alone no one suffers, no one laughs, nobody feels" and he smile with those sharp teeth., and then I wake, thought to be just one if he suffers, suffers more than being surrounded by people.