Someone...Anyone?

Sometimes I ask my self, do I have anyone that is truly a friend? Is it worth lying for that person? Would you die for them? Would they die for you? Is our friendship right? I'm scared of been friends, but I'm more scared of turning in to enemy's, not because I would lose you, more because of all the things I have told you. I'm scared of despairing. I think that if I have someone to talk to I'll be fine. But is it true, that your friend, is truly your friend? Do you know the person? Does the person knows you? I don't mean knowing the person for a long time. I mean knowing the person right, the person he is. Does he lie? Is he honest? Does he trust you? Do you trust him? Do you know he would back you up, when you been treated badly? I had a little situation where I sit and I start thinking. They say they wouldn't change us, but didn't they said that to their old friends? Are they truly meaning it? 

"We will be together" yeah I've heard that before, "Friends forever" that too. Oh and the old but actually always used, "You can trust me, I'm your friend" I know the truth, we change, they change, we all do, but I wish...I just had someone that I know will keep a secret, that I'm not scared of, that's scared of losing me as a friend, that thinks of me like someone incredible, that understands, someone I can laugh with.

I say I do have one already, but do I really. Can I trust you? "yeah" lies! All of it. Sometimes I think that been alone is easier that actually having friends. I'm not who to judged, but I just want to feel, I can be safe, that someone cares, that if I text you, you will answer, if I talk, you'll listen, if I fall you be there by my side, to pick mew up, o just there, but always there no matter what. We all deserve that person don't we. I think I already have on, but I'm scared that, that's just me trying to make my self feeling that someone cares. I don't mean family, I mean someone that is not my blood, but I consider them on of my own. Someone...anyone that would care fro me as much as I do for them.

 

P.S - thanks fro passing by and reading have a wonderful day or a wonderful night.

 

Really, in this event?

Hey...

You know what I just realize. I went around my house and I saw that I have all my cousins in at least one picture, but then I saw something weird. We are missing someone. My youngest cousin, I don't have a picture of her, not even a little one.

And I saw her today, she is 10 years old is going to be 11 this year. I saw here in my grandfathers office, with her mom, and my aunt (well my other aunt) I was coming back from shopping with my grandma. I told her I was going to an event this Saturday 23/may/15, and she said that she wanted to go, and that one of her friends was going to be there. I said, "Yeah why not" but then I realize that I was going to be her babysitter, and sorry, but I'm not up to that. I still love her, she is family, and if she wants to come she can. I just wanted to let her know that I was going to be around people my age and that if I was going to babysitter, she could go far away from me.

 She was going to be hanging out with teenagers from 15 to 17 or maybe 18 and she is just 10, also she has a big attitude, and I really don't want trouble. At the end I couldn't tell her, I told her that she was welcome to come with me and my friend. Even thought I wanted to tell her.

My mom gets home and she ask me why I invited her to the event. I told her because I wasn't going to say no, and she wanted to go. Now is like 10:36pm and I saw my bucket list, that is in the table. I left the #10? with a  question mark on it, because I didn't knew what to put in that one at that time. When I see the number 10 I see that my cousin wrote, "Going on a trip with my cousins" and "Viaje con primas" same but in Spanish. I saw it, and then I started looking for her in one of our pictures around the house and she is not even in one of them, her brother, yes, but not her. I feel bad for her and all. But this is the one event I really like the most.

If she goes, I'll just tell her how it's if your going you can't get away from me. And if you want to buy something to let me know first.(you never know what your buying, and what it means, in this kind of events) I'll see, whatever it happens I'm cool with it, well kind of. It's normal for us at least teenagers. right.

P.S - Thanks for passing by and I'll see you next time. Hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful night.

Cut's?

Cut's? Why? 

Is easier to...

To what? 

I don't know. Maybe...

 Maybe what? 

I don't know!

You have to know why. Is your body don't do this to it.

Is the only way out.

Out from where? 

From myself, from the darkness in me!

There is another way out.

But is there another way in? 

What do you mean, another way in? 

Sometime you think is to let the pain out. But it also works to feel alive, or to punish yourself.

You don't need to punish yourself for anything. Don't do this, you can talk to me, if you want. I'm here. You don't understand that when you do this, your not just hurting yourself. We worry about you, more that you think. 

This is what's happening in my head lately. Fellings fighting with my brain, and my body. At the end I just cry. Sometimes I don't even know what to do. Am I the crazy one, or this is normal. Who can say what's real, what's not, what's crazy, and what's normal.

Are you ok? 

Yeah. 

Please never ask this. Because me and many peoples answer will be, yes I'm ok. Just because of the facts that OK is part of the word brOKen. 

Is this going to last forever? 

No. Don't worry this is a normal face of your life.

Really, this hurts. 

Yeah I know just hold on. 

I'll try. Do I need help?

Do you need help? 

I think I do. But i won't ask.

Why? 

Because I know I can do this by myself. 

I wish you, the better. Hope your years will be easier. Have a happy life. And remember I love you. And they love you. 

I care to much:

I know is a bit of a weird theme to talk about but...I have many friends few true once and when I do find one of those true ones. I only want them to have the best in life, and I worry too much about them you could say I become there little guardian angel or devil anything they need in the moment, but always driving them to the good side. And when I lose one of them I freak out and I understand that they don't answer me, but if I try to look for them and no one  knows anything about them I get a bit worried and I act immediately.

Well just giving you an example, I'll tell you what happened to me today…

 I was in my house all day, I went out like 1 time, and it was to go pick up my cousin. Then when I got home I try to talk with a friend. She is one of the few true ones. I try, and try, but she didn’t answer, so I go to my other friend, and ask if she has talk to her today (she is also one of the few ones), and she told me that she try also talking to her, but she didn’t answer to her either. I try with another person he told me that she didn’t answer him either, so I was getting scared by every time everyone told that she didn’t talk to them. I thought maybe she just wants to have her time alone, but I understand if she told someone. Well what happen is that I live literally like 5 minutes away her and that’s walking, so I was making a plan to go see her tomorrow. In that same moment I was thinking going to see her, my aunt comes to my door, and asks me “Do you want to go out to get Yogurt?” I said “Yeah why not”. I went to the car and I saw my cousins. I went all the way in my phone trying to see if anyone had talk to my friend. NO ONE, this was getting scary (for me at least). I told my cousins and one of them had the phone of one of my friend, friends. She call her friend and nothing the person didn’t knew anything about her. Then the other cousin of mine started laughing at me, because I was exaggerating the situation, and yes maybe I was but is better exaggerating the situation to not worry at all. My aunt notice that I was worrying a bit too much, so she said “Fine, we can go to her house, but fast” and she stop at my friend house. I ask her dad if she was in there, he said “Yes, I’ll call her hold on”. I felt so relieved when he told me that, because that meant she was fine. She came out of her house and explain that her phone didn’t work well the battery of her phone, and that she was getting a new battery on Tuesday. I told her that I was worried about her, and so other people because she didn’t answer the phone. After that I got home and told the other that she was okay. Then I realize that I was worrying to much she was save and sound in her house, but I know that even if I realize that, that I wasn’t going to stop worrying about my friends and that’s what make me, me I worry to much and they know it so…if they are okay with it why should I, and even if they aren’t okay with it I’m okay with because it’s what make me, me.

 

P.S. – Thanks for taking your time and reading hope you have a wonderful day or a wonderful night, and never forget be yourself. ;)  Hope To See You Again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Really Don't Understand.

I really don't understand. Why? Is there a reason for humans to have feeling? Why can't we be more rational, more scientific? I hate feeling like I'm worth less. I want to become more like a rational person, but how if all I do, I do it base in how I feel. 

Some people can control there emotions, and others can't, we can control when we are mad. When feel the need to punsh someone but we don't because we can control that feeling of anger, but...Can you control either when your happy or sad, no. We can't control how we feel; but we can control what comes with the feeling. 

Real question I have, can we control when we love someone, because love, for me is the fusion of all feeling mix together. Even the most rational person can't control love, with love comes jealousy that is a mix of anger and sadness. With love comes the butterflies in the stomach, that's been nerves, been nerves comes from happiness and excitement. Love is good and all, but when that love turns in to sorrow and every little thing that comes from sadness and anger. For me is the worst feeling ever because is not been sad or depression is worst than that,...Is been in a situation that you can't get out of. I trust the feeling will get out. 

Ps.: But it looks like my friend disagree with me. She says feelings are what makes us humans. It's what makes us feel alive. That's why we hurt each other's feelings are a part of life that we are supposed to live with....but she all so liked this sentence “We can't control how we feel. But we can control what comes with the feeling. 

Love?

Hey...Is me. I was thinking about feelings, and how we all feel the same but not the same at the same time. Is confusing I know, but that is love, and that's what I want to talk about today.



Have you ever wonder what love is. What love is for you? What love is for him or her? What is love for a scientist? What was love? What would it become of it? Sometimes I sit and think to my self, is love a ways of showing we care, or is a feeling that no one can or would understand. The definition of love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection. For me that is a way of defining the word, but the word it self can't be define. Love can't be define just because all of us feel a different way of love. You may say love is the same for everyone but have you ever stop and think if every body is different would they feel different. Yes, we are all humans, with different thought, and if the feelings are in our head then why can't they be different. I really don't care if the feelings I have are different, to the feelings he has. I just hope I can understand mine and he can understand his feelings.

I discover that we feel love for everything that has a memory, that we put our heart to it. That moment when you meet your best friend(BF), for the first time in a long time, what comes to mind... all the memories you had together, the fact that you love her/him. I have so many friends and I love them all, some I love them more then others, but not because they are worth less, just because they have better memories with someone else, and I have best friends (BF's) and they are the people that understand me, that feel me, and I love them all, and I love the memories that I have with them, I wouldn't change them for anything in the world. And like everybody in the world, that had or has, a special person that they like. I have a special person that I like, he is sweet and nice but sometimes I just don't feel love for him, I feel different I don't know how to explain it, but I don't want him to be mine, I just want him to be happy, to tell me he is happy, to see his smile, and know, and yes sometimes I really want to hug him tight, and never let go. But we all have our entire life to look for that especial one, and sometimes if you stop looking, you can actually see more clearly.

And never be afraid to end up alone, because you should know that as long as you have friends, and Family(and when I say family, I don't mean blood relatives) you are not going to be alone.


Song for the theme: Adele-Someone Like you...
 I heard that your settled down. That you found a girls and your married now. I heard that your dreams came true......

My Bad:

Hey, my bad. I haven't post any thing in a few days, is that I have been busy with school, plus I'm going on a trip to Orlando, in March 10 until march 15, to see university's. In two years I'll be out of high school. That scares me a bit, but you can't stop time so, I think is better if you let time go and get prepared for whatever comes. When I come back I'll be talking a bit about my trip and how well did it go. Btw, I want to study graphic design, for all of you that don't know.

Well...see you Guys/Girls in a few days. Bye

Just read #2:

Hey last time I did one of this, it was to make you readers feel better. But today I'm not in the mood for that shining touch, so I'm just going to look for some phrases and put them here. Oh! And I'm going to try to look for a positive or at least something nice in every sentence, but not in all of them.

I'm a strong girl who keeps her stuff in line even when I have tears going down my face, I always manage to say those two word...

                                                                        -I'm Fine-

 

I'm not sad. I'm past pain. I don't feel depressed anymore. In fact, I'm having trouble feeling anything at all anymore.

 

Secret: #77 - I want to get away from here.

 

 

 I don't know, has been my answer for everything lately. I don't know what's wrong.

 

 

Tears are word that the heart can't say.

 

 

At some point along the road I realized "I'm Sorry" just wasn't good enough it doesn't take the pain away.

 

You are beautiful!

 

Please save me from my self.

 

 

I don't want to feel anything anymore. It's running everything for me.

 

 People cry not because there weak. It's because they have been strong for to long.

 

 

I've lost control AGAIN.  

 

Lies:

 I'm crying in my room, all by my self, I never thought that my life could be so good. But if it's so good, why am I crying? And then I remember that my life is so good because is based on lie. I lie about what I feel, about what I think, and about what I want.

When you cry is because your sad, when I cry most of the time is just a show. The only person that can actually see through my act, is me. I have prove, that even if you know the person, or the person knows you or so they say, you really don't know them. I don't know what I'm feeling sometimes, is hard to describe it, and since I was little I learned that lying is better, you hide everything and you keep your secrets to your self. Now...I don't know why do I lie anymore, before it was because I was sacred of the truth, now I don't. Am I still scared of the truth? I can't be, I already face the truth. I just lie because is easier than telling the truth, even when I know I'm wrong, even when I know it will heart me more than is going to hurt you, because I know the lie, and the truth.  

12:00am?

Where I'm from is 12:00am right now. Normally people will say is morning, because is 12:00am but why do we say good night even when we have to say good morning. Is funny how simple things get us confuse or we barely notice them. But  just wanted to pass by and say Good Night, and Good Morning

Human Kind:

 Hey I was watching something and then I saw a really nice and realistic phrase, and I started thinking of it, so I decided to put the phrase here in my blog. Is not mine but is really good, is from a series "Full Metal Alchemist"

 

 

"Human kind can not gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemist first rule of equivalent exchange.

In those days we truly believe that's to be the one, and only truth."

 

 

   

In Space, in Earth or in your Mind?

 

 

            Looking into space is just a way to say I'm open minded, and I look in to the past, present and future. I look in the memories either good or bad. (at least my opinion).

 

When you go in that far trip in your mind is kind of  funny sometimes, depending on the place or the thing your thinking of. When you stare at nothing, but at the same time at something. You lose your self in your thoughts. Sometimes, I go far back in my mind when I don't have anything to do and think what would I have done back there if I had the knowledge, that I have now. Would I said something or would I just let things happen again? If someone gave me that option I'll leave everything as it was, just because of the fact that without the past, the memories, the good and the bad things, we wouldn't be who we are today. And if somebody gave you the chance to go to the future and not the past would you go or would you just let time show you what is going to be the future? If it depended on me I wouldn't go, because even if the future is made already it could change as fast as it was made, your decisions make your future, bad decision or a good one could change your future and then who would know.  

 

 

It just came to mind, it hasn't happen to you, you look at someone, and that person is looking into space? Is kind of interesting to look at the person so lost in thoughts. The face that they make is not a happy face, but not a sad face, is a face that not even trying you can make, is just a unique facial expression and the eyes of the person are so beautiful sometimes you just have too look at them. And if the person your look at it's the person you like, or a friend, or a maybe someone you care about, you look in to his/her eyes and think "What could he/she be thinking?" and you stare a them without a reason. Then when the person comes back to earth, and you are just looking at them. But your looking at them and at the same time looking in to space. Then you come back, and you both look in to each others eyes, if it's a friend you maybe would laugh, if it's someone you care about you probably just smile, but if it's the person you like, >\\\<  (blushing) you would look in to his/her eyes and be all movie type, until one of you looks the other way. But even if it's just second, you enjoy those seconds, because if it's someone you care about, (and that includes friend, family, or the person you like) that moment is beautiful. Looking in to each others eyes, after looking in to space is like exchanging, an honest piece of your sole, or maybe not a piece of sole, but before you react that your back on earth, you look at everything and everybody the same way, a real and honest look.

 

P.S - Sometimes I think is like dreaming but with the eyes open, and I loved the idea of making your stories in your that everything can happen.

 

 

 

Song that I think is good or (SITIG): Keep your mind wide open by Anna Sophia Robb.

Starts: Have you ever seen the sky. So beautiful, colorful, wide wonderful?... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just read...!📖

If you feel no one cares just read. I hope this little sentences will make you feel better.



"Do you ever wonder how many people notice you? but you don't notice them, because you are to busy noticing someone else that will never notice you?"


"I'm not perfect. I'll annoy you, tease you, say stupid things, but you'll never find anyone who loves you as much as I do"


"I've made mistakes in my life. I 've let people take advantage of me, and I accepted way less than I deserve. But I've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry. I'll know better next time and I won't settle for anything less than I deserve."


"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."


"If the story is not about the hearer he will not listen. And here I make a rule a great and interesting story is about everyone or it will not last."


"Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with other without using them as a means of escape."


"I just want to have fun and be in love with you."

 

Happy Valentines Day ✌️

Today is Valentines day, I hope all of you are having a good time, with your partners, and that your relationship is going well. For all of you out there that are single (like me), go to a party have fun valentines day might be for love, but is for Frienship too,grab a few friends and go out. 

 I don't have much experience in love, but I have much in been alone in valentines day, and I always have fun whether is going to the movies and bother other couples or just hangout with friends. Make the best of it, you only have one Valentines day 2015, and make memories that last. 

And like a song said: “All I want is to mess around and I don't care if you love me or hate me.” 

I don't know...

I don't understand this world. I don't understand society. What they want from us? I don't know what to do anymore. They say follow your dream, but they fight with you for your dream. They say, is for your own good. Are you sure is it for my own good? Maybe we are wrong, maybe we should change. I have tried, but I can't. How can you change something, that it can't be changed. You can't change who you are.

If you smile all the time, they will believe your fine. But do they know? The real you, the one that is hiding behind the mask. Would they know her someday, or will you keep hiding the girl behind all of those lies. Are you the flower that you said you where, that is made from the things she learn or maybe you're still the rose, with red coat hiding, because you have many thorns, and is afraid that no one would take her just because of the thorns. Hiding behind the mask won't work for long, someone will see right through, but you can't wait for that day to come. All I want is to be more like me, and less like you.


 We humans, are perfect the way we are, then why do we want to change. Why do we try to impress others with out fake and worthless lies. Change the color of your hair, if you want, not because is popular. Makeover, is made for you to feel and look they way you look inside, but we use it to make our self's looks different. Make yourself feel good, be yourself, and give your opinion. Is your life, not anyone else's life.

BE YOURSELF...why? That's the question, but the only one that knows the answer is you. The past is only to remember and learn,. The future is waiting for you, and it will be better, if you want it to be better.

Just Try:

Don't you sometime wonder what is out there, outside of this walls. The walls that you made, just to protect yourself from anyone. Do you give your self a chance in life or you just use your mask and cover while you just here and see, but don't feel?...

CLASSROOM:

In the classroom, I'm sitting in my chair, listening to the class, go on and on. My classmates come and go, and me, not even moving, I just knew that my mind wasn't there. A friend of mine comes and starts talking to me, and I looked at his eyes and think "Am I saying this things because I want to or is because I'm suppose to" then I smile. I missed that place where I knew I was save, where my opinions where listen. The world that I own, but I can't go back, I can barely see it. Some people say that you dream when your a kid, and when you grow up those dreams become little, they turn in goals. If growing up means I have to leave that world behind, I don't want to grow up ever. I just my world to be fix but how. Maybe it has a problem, I could fix it. Next time I can, I'll go back and look for the problem, so I can fix it. I won't let my world die, not because of me, I'll do something, even if my life depends on it.

HEYYYYYY!!!!!!!, ARE YOU THERE???!!!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO WHAT I'M SAYING????!! I react, someone was screaming at me, it was the teacher. I guess I did when in a little road around my head. I need to get there, to forget, to remember, future and past. I need to escape from here, be my self, stop this lies. I get mad, because I'm drowning in my own glass of water, that is not even full. Where is that girl that I knew, she was active, always smiling, happy al the time, she never felt anger at someone, she was me, but 10 years ago. I really miss her and her thoughts. I need to find her right away. If I don't, I'm afraid that my world will die and sooner I'll be like them, I don't want to be like them, I want to be me again. I going to do something about me and my world.











  

Does Your Own World Exist?

I see her on her chair, but her mind...is way far from here. She always talks about a wonderful place where she loves to be. Where the wind is always flowing, the grass is green like if always was summer, the bugs don't bite, and the sun is always there until the night.

I wish, I could go to that place, and smile for a while, so I don't need to think or do what people want me to. When she comes back to earth, her smile is bigger and she is positive , but her grades not that much. She could be the happiest person in the world but her grade's are going down.

 FEW DAYS LATER....

This last days, her smile is not that big. She doesn't go to that place anymore, and her grade are the same. What's going on in her head? Is her imagination crumbling down? She is quiet most time, because she is in that little world of hers. I wish, I could help her but I got my own problem, my little world is dying. The grass is red, as if there had been a battle there. You don't need to know...at least not yet, let's just say is not pretty, is not what I wish for me in my own little world. 

Let's see...

I hope you like my little stories, The Nightmares,. I'll be posting some short stories from my own book, but not all of them will have a second part.

The Real Fourth Story: The day I really knew

 I'm in my bed, lights out, I stop to light them, thinking it may be a joke from my cousins. I try to light them, I couldn't. Okay, I started to get scared, and I thought of a possible reason why could, the light run out, the first thing that came to mind was "The power went out, that's normal", but the thing was, it wasn't raining. So why? I started looking for my lamp to go see if my mom was fine, but I didn't find anything. I open the door, to go to my moms room, everything was in order, except that my mom was not in her bed, but her lamp was in her room, I took the lamp and went downstairs, but suddenly the funniest thing happens, the light came back. I go to my room to see if I can go back to sleep, but my door is locked .I decided to go down to the kitchen to see if my mom was there, but she was not, so I found it average. Since I was awake I sat down to wait for my mom and watch TV. Sitting relaxed, calm, waiting for my mom, someone knocks on the door, I stand to go to open the door, when I stand, I hear a noise coming from the kitchen, looked quickly toward the kitchen. I could not believe, Riu was in the kitchen, says "We need to talk". We sat in the room to talk. Actually it looked like we had talked for hours. We talked about who was and where he came from.

Riu stands up and goes, and says "Until we meet again" and closes the door after him, you could see his red eyes through the window, moving away slowly. Then a small, adorable black cat peeks behind furniture. The small kitten is approaching me, but as it approaches, the color of his hair changes from black to white, and his eyes, from blue to gray. The cat stops in front of me, and tells me "awake, escapes now you can!" It left me speechless, a cat. I was talking to a cat, obviously it wasn't the weirdest thing yet, after having met Riu it wasn't much left that surprised me. The moment that I was going to answer the cat, someone knocks on my door. I go to the door, opened it, he was there, standing in the doorway, not talking, I told him to come and sit.

 He just looked at me. The little cat surprised, asked me "Who is he?", I answered "I know his name, but I don't know his soul", after about 3 minutes, he stands up and walks toward the door. I tell him to stop, to stay longer. He stops and looks at me. The kitty asks me "Why do you want him to stay, isn't painful for you?". I answer, "yes, but this has been the only time I could really look into his eyes and feel like he is here". The kitten ask "But you see him everyday at school don't you?" I said "Yes, but that doesn't mean I see him, does it" she replied "You can try to connect with his soul, and his heart" I kneeled down to be closer to the little kitten, and said "I tried, but his heart and soul belong to someone else," she smiles at me and asks me "Well are you going to back down on him?" I look in to her beautiful gray eyes and said  "No, I'll be there by his side, as a friend as family, I'll be there, by their side, no matter, enemy or friend". The kitten was fading but before vanishing she said "Then why do you say that, with a tear falling out of your eye" I didn't even notice I was crying. She takes the tear from my eye with her tail, and I said, "I wasn't crying for him, you never cries over the situation in which one is, but one before that in which you couldn't mourn." Her smile answer, because her face wa already vanished "Good, because you shouldn't cry for someone like him, and now you know what you have to do" I nodded. I went to the door where he was. I hug him and he hug me back. I looked in to his eyes and I couldn't believe what I was seeing, he was smiling, because of me. At the end he left, with a fake smile, that I could see through it, but I didn't care, at least he smile at me and just me. I returned to the couch and I slept, I close my eyes, knowing this was the last time, i was going to be there.


My mom wakes me up, it felt like 5 minutes, but it was already morning, it was a Saturday for my luck, she send me back up stairs. I smile at her, and I went to bed. That's how my story ends, but who knows maybe Riu will go to you next, he wasn't my nightmare after all.

The Third Nightmare

I wake up in a room, everything is dark, I looked everywhere for a light, what I see is a window into the distance, I run, but before reaching the window, the floor disappears, the only thing you can se is the infinite darkness. The soil begins to disappear behind me. With no place to go, I just wait until the last tile disappeared beneath me, but in spite of that there was no ground, and I hung in the air.

Something began to grab me by the hands and feet, it tied me to a machine. The machine, started to get up in the air, and it started to pull my arms and legs. After a while the machine stretches me more and more, until my limbs were torn from my body. I yell as hard as I could, I thought I was going to en up voiceless, and I started to mourn, and then I fainted. Upon awakening, I had my arms and legs again, but when I tried to move could not, I was tied to a table and Riu was at my side. He had a apron like doctor and tools for surgery. Riu looked at me and said "Ready, it will only hurt a little." Riu grabbed a knife from the table, and one began to open up, I thought this is my end, I thought I was going to die, because of so much pain I felt. But at that moment to look at Riu eyes woke me, I my room like nothing had happen. My mom comes in and ask me "Are you okay?, I heard you screaming." I looked at her, and say "No, I'm fine just a bad dream"

The Second Nightmare

I lay in bed and closed my eyes. Little did I know that was going to appear once more in my dream and make it a nightmare. But he make a deal with me. He told me that I had to do whatever he said. I accepted and followed him to a huge room with a bunch of poisonous weapons drinks, etc..

Riu gave me a kind of drink, green and said "The first thing you have to do is give the drink to the person who is behind that door," and pointed to a door with the letter M on it. I opened the door a bright light prevented me see, and when the light down a bit, I realized that what had, the drink in my hand, had become a sweet, and I must admit it looked delicious. When as I could see, the first thing I saw was a table in the center of the room, and Malory sitting in the corner. I gave her the sweet Riu had given me. Malory ate the sweet and the moment she ate it, she got all red and then white foam started to get out of her mouth. I was scared and I ran to the door, when I got through, I closed the door as fast as I could. Riu looked at me and smiled. I panicked because I had killed one of my friends. He told me "There are more". Pointed to other gates and doors that had letters. As if they were hospital doors, but had letter instead of numbers. The door which I had left behind had an M, and that M was now red. The other doors had the letters H, A, P, A, G, V and J. Took me outside the door H and gave me an ax, and told me to enter. I knew it was a nightmare, so I said to my self "You're not killing anyone, it's just a nightmare, you will enter those doors and you'll leave with a smile, no matter who is behind them."

 I opened the door that has the letter H, I saw Hiva. She came closer to me, and stopped in front of me, I look at her eyes and they don't have a reaction, a reflex, she wasn't Hiva, she wasn't my friend. I looked at her in the eyes so I did what I had to do, and cut off her head. I did the same with the other but different things. The door that had the letter A it was Angels door and I cut her leg and let her bleed to death, the next door was the door P that one was Pao's door I pull an arrow to your heart. When I get to a door that had the same letter, A I said "it can not be an angel again, then who?" I open the door and it was Alex, I cut Alex's harms, and did the same that I did to Angel, let her bleed, but I could bare look, so before they die, I already was out the door. I knew they weren't my friends but they looked a lot like them. After that I went to the door with the letter G, in there, was  y friend Gab I poison him like I did with Malory. "Just two more doors to go" I said to my self. I enter to the door that had the V on it, that was the door that my friend Victor was in, I exploded him with a bomb. "At least the last door!" I scream. it felt like I have been in this dream more than just a few minutes, I just wanted to be over already. The last door, was the door that had the letter J on it. When I open the door before seeing the person, I told myself  " I don't want to kill anybody else" , and I turned around to look at the person, and I see Joe, in that moment, I looked at him I thought another of Riu's puppets, but I get closer to him and I look in to his eyes, and saw him, my friend and I ask him "Are you real? Are you the real Joe that I know?". I couldn't speak after what he said .He told me "Yes, I'm the real Joe" and I couldn't speak not because he said yes but because he said something, non of the others had even said a word to me or scream or any reaction at all, but him, he smile and everything. Riu came into the room and stand beside Joe. Riu give me a gun and said "You know what to do right?" I looked at Joe and I looked at Riu and I knew what I didn't do before it was my chance to make it right. I loaded the gun, and points to the head, and I shoot. I run to the door with Joe, thinking that Riu as dead. after we past the door Riu was in front of us, he smile and said "Well done, I have to go and I guess you too"

 I looked to my side and Joe was still there, but I looked in to his eyes and saw that it wasn't Joe any more, it was the puppet again, I try to talk to him but nothing he just standing there...I wake up with a tear falling out of my eye and I didn't really care, because I learned something, you can actually see someone's soul with just looking in to his eyes.

  

The Fist Nightmare: part 2

And then the first road appeared, and these still appear consecutively. The first road was black and a light illumined, in this way were two people, two friends, Hiva and Pao. The second one was red and  two good friends of mine, Joe and Victor were there. In the second last but not least, a path with two beginnings but came together at one point. The third road was, yellow, and there was my family. In an entry of the way my family was all by my mother's side, while the other input was my family but my dad's side. The last was a road with a sign that said "By Yourself".


Riu said "choose one." I didn't knew for what it was, so I choose Hiva and Pao, Riu said "Wrong Way, The friends do not last nothing but a summer breeze". I didn't what to think in what he just said. I went by the way of Joe and Victor, Riu said "Wrong Way, friends are just a weight in my pocket".I already was getting angry and did not give him time to talk, with just one way left, that said "By yourself". I run into this road and at the moment I put my foot, I could not move but I managed to look back and what I saw was Riu smile at me and said "close your eyes", I closed them trusting him, opening my eyes I found my self in my classroom and Riu next to me ,and says "When you are alone no one suffers, no one laughs, nobody feels" and he smile with those sharp teeth., and then I wake, thought to be just one if he suffers, suffers more than being surrounded by people.

The frist nightmare; Part 1

I was walking through the halls of the school with my friends (very normal)(a common day at school). Suddenly a small demon neatly dressed, with a white tie, and a black suit. It approaches me and looks at me straight in the eyes, with those red eyes of him and says "Follow me" I start walking, couldn't control my body. WE came down the hall and stopped, he said "jump", (I was on the second floor of the school) I look down and I don't see the ground, what I see is a hole, but  I still jump. I keep falling without stopping, at some point I start to see red eyes at the end. The demon grabs my hand and leads me to a corner, and before touching the ground I ask him "This is a dream?" he answered me  " if that's what you want it, it will" I close my eyes, not wanting to see when the ground was approaching but when I open my eyes, what I see is my hair in my face. I'm in the math classroom, talking classes, so I thought until I saw through the window shadows. The shadows were walking past the window. I lower my head, as fast as I can, and when I come back up, there he was in a chair across the room, sitting like nothing had happen, no else was in the room.

He tells me " Sorry if I scared you. Let me introduce myself, my name is Riu" I wanted to say "Nice to meet you" but for some strange reason, I couldn't speak. Suddenly appeared in a room full of lights and, Riu is in my side. Then appeared some roads and people are opposite of those roads, people that I know, friends and family. I stand by waiting fro something to happen and then....

It all started:

How can I start...I don't understand, why have I been having this nightmares, the firsts ones where just paths to choose, now I feel like they are terring me apart...(literally) 

It all started with a thought, a little dream that turns into a nightmare. 

Today:

It has been a week already:

The memories of that day come back to me in this day 31/oct/14.

I'm alone in the house, well with my grandmother. It has been already 3 years since I saw him I didn't tell anybody my secret, the true is mine, mine alone.

School has already started and the nightmares have begone again, that little devil. It reminds me of that day it was halloween the first one that I truly remember. The night that all started. His eyes, his voice, his smile, him self. The night that I had my first good nightmare. That was the night that all started, after that my life hasn't been the same.

Hey

 

Well, let me introduce myself, I'm an ordinary student. I won't tell you my name but you can call me A and I'm or mite be the same age as you, and this is my blog. Sometimes you'll see stories or just dreams, maybe phrases, pictures  me explaining what I think of those pictures, ect. 

Thanks for passing by, see ya later ✌️😉